half month didn't go home.

juz now b4 i write a new post i read the post b4...wah...i really sad that time leh...my words all full wif sadness...^^
yesterday is the day after 2 weeks i didn't bck home. but at the moment i wan go home i receive a bad news, my grandma was in the hospital! wasai! I'm shocked! so i can't go bck d...straight away go hospital visit her... luckily she still ok. relieve.
at there i meet a weird aunty...she is the patient opposite my grandma. she ask me 4 help. she say the nurse taken her medicine, wan me 2 take it bck. u know y tis will happen? is bcoz she refused 2 eat it! omg! then i keeping go 2 find the nurse n say the things she wan 2 say 2 them, n then cum bck tell her wat the nurse say! walao! this process repeat 4 "n" times! the time i spend 4 helping her is much more than the time i accompany my grandma leh... act this aunty quite pitiful also la...but i ady try all my best 2 persuade her 2 eat her medicine...but she also keeping telling me she can only eat half of the pill! this is the matter that make all the nurse dun wan bother her ady...haiz...i think she is too lonely tat y she think too much d...

act i should hav many many things 2 write but i dun know how 2 start.
start from the kl trip ba...quite a happy trip lo... i buy the chocolate that almost Rm 100 d...
n then is my sister vegi's birthday! we hav a nice day...n taken many many 38 photo. we take her 2 hsm n introduce 2 some of my fren. but i really not satisfy wif juz the celebration like tat, next time when we all after f6 i sure giv u a much more better birthday!
next, soon sheng's birthday. we sang birthday song 2 him at 12am. he was touching oo...but act this type of things is consider absolutely normal 4 pei hwa's gang! so easy 2 touching oo...haha. our birthday celebration must be all very creative 1! tat is pei hwa! wakaka!
they cum my hostel there at night 2 celebrate his birthday...they say wan see our bedroom, once we open the door, guess wat happened! FLOODING!!! the windows didn't close! haiz...frighten...luckily they wan see our room, if not later they bck d i must be shocked when i see this scenery...haha.
tat day i sleep alone leh...coz siok ching n xiner bck home d...
the next morning i still didn't disturbed by my messange alert...when i wake up, i walk out from my room wif my pajamas n messy hair...n shocked by the boy sitting on the sofa! haha. he also frighten by me lo...haha. after having breakfast i go 2 sch 4 talentime...i heard a nice by a f5 boy! fuyo...nice!
after that we go fetch dada... TLC really Too Low Class! i bring dada in wif her fren's ticket, she purposely go n expose me!Too Low Class!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!her name really suitable 4 her! she also go henry abt this n always EMPHASIS this!
afternoon is the time we go 8 concert!!!haha.
is raining during the concert!( thanks 4 WT n jeff help me n dada遮雨 oo) haiz...remind those who r short dun go concert like tat...coz u will juz like me! see nothing when the concert running! haha. i ady stand on tiptoe liao but still can't see! jiko leh...but now recall it i think still gud! coz we enjoy the atmosphere of the concert!haha.
the night b4 the sch reopen me siok ching didn't sleep 2 rush out phy worksheet! haiz...i juz didn't sleep 4 1 night jeh...the next day i straight away chan chan...i feel nausea...really like ppl who 害喜!haha.

the next matter is!!!!!
the matter make me cry 2nd times in this year!
tat day is music club mesyuarat agung...b4 it start, henry say: now we're giving post, those who didn't get dun be too sad n dissapointed...those things la... when he saying this he was looking at me all the way! juz like all this he juz wan 2 tell me only!act i know wat will happen d... but i can't walk away right now rite? i still show my smiling face 2 them...i respect them...(but who respect me!)T_T
after the meeting end i straight away walk out...i tahan 4 very long time d... we go tanjung... siokching n xiner they consoling me... at the beginning i didin't expect i will cry! really...haiz...they really jiko... when they mention abt "zihang" n "juz cry out" i straight away can't tahan liao! haiz...when i bcum so weak! i shouldn't cry! but i still cried! so shame 2 cry in front ppl!
wasai! when i listen 2 《下一个天亮》i cry lagi teruk!!haiz...
they even call zihang n vegi...make me haiz...........dun know wat 2 say...the only words i can say is有姐妹真好!
really really thanks u all!!! n my chocolate also!^^
i won't let u all dissapointed! won't let u all worry abt me anymore! i will learn 2 be more坚强!! i will try my best! i hope i can make it...
juz like 《下一个天亮》~~我发誓要更努力 更有勇气！， n 《不药而愈》~~看伤心慢慢痊愈 我会好好地安慰我自己！

my mood recently: still quite down.

salt on the wound...

2day...how 2 say...i go 2 sch wif upset mood...i dun know how 2 face all of them...i should say i dun know i should use wat attitude 2 face them...happy like b4? i can't even smile from the bottom of my heart...show a emotionless face? this is not their fault, do like that is unfair 2 them... so...i also very矛盾...dun know wat 2 do!
in the class, wif the company of my 3 fren n irene i feel more nature...won't be too sad...
after sch i go out eating lunch wif all of them...is my decision 2 go correct? i dun know...i really dun know d la...y all the things happened in my life bcum so complicated! i can't withstand leh...i hav no appetite, but for the sake of not to be so 刻意i still eating...i think i can skip my dinner d lo...
after that go back sch for librian duty...here is the time the 2nd blow of me! Liwei ask me wat happen...i say ntg...she say anything can juz tell her, then i think she's also quite a good fren of me so i tell her lo... i really really ,dreaming also can't predict she will say this... actually i feel very sad 2 hear this... she ask me whether gt feel she not so wish 2 talk wif me o not? i say yes...i thought she dun wan talk is bcoz she is in bad mood recently, i really can't believe she also think me like that...she say she heard ppl say i'm this type of girl, n the girl is from her class n the girl is heard from the student of my class!!! this make me straight away shocked! omg! all togather is how many ppl thought me like tat!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T_T
even my classmate???i really can't believe!
LW say she dun know whether she is misunderstanding me o not... when these word cum out from her that is the 1st time i know wat is the feeling of heartbroken... i can feel the heartache clearly... i regard her as my fren but i really can't imagine when i 2gather wif her, she thought me like that... T_T n i still talikng n joking wif her?? can't imagine wat she is thinking of me previously...i felt myself like a clown... when she asking me"i should believe u o not?" i think that time my heart twisted d... but at least she say she decided 2 believe me...
besides, she say even her dato's fren also dislike me...my second shock!she say gt ppl say me 有心机...how come how come! how 2 say?? i treat ppl wif all my sincere ok!=='''
who can tell me wat can i do??? T_T我是怎么沦落到这种地步的！
when we sit down discuss about this thing...when i talking my frens there...really can't tahan anymore...my eyes straight away brimming wif tears...i try 2 control but i failed 2 do that... i think ka xiang n little circle saw it d lo...sry 2 let u saw that!
(jeff n weityng, dun go n tell LW i write this here hoh...dun let her know u know this better la...i dun wan she misunderstanding me again...)
i really really missing my fren! my 5sc2 best fren! how good if they are here n console me...the 1st 1 i miss is dada...i can imagine her anxious n helpless look...but i know she is trying her best 2 comfort me...2nd is vegi my best sister! i think wat she will say is" aiya dun bother them la..." n try 2 do something funny 2 make me smile... 3rd is suteng! she sure will hav a lot 2 say la... n chenying...she will also very nervous when i'm crying n ask 4 help from other fren...^^ erm...teck wei also...he will sure show me his embrass look n say"dun cry la" woeiyeh...he will say something ppl unpredictable... n all my others fren!!!!
i missing that time "jia min's matter" they all 挺我的时候。。。我就是有你们真心诚意地安慰。。。不离不弃的陪伴。。。才让我慢慢的走出那可怕的阴影！ 现在没有了你们我真的很难过！不知道该怎么办！想到我们在一起的欢乐时光。。。我就只能哭！我是怎么了！！！！什么时候我的眼泪变得那么不听话！我几时变得那么爱哭！ 自从佳敏的事过后我就没再哭过！是一年前的事了吧。。。但现在让我透不过气！快要窒息了！一切都超出我的想象！这个世界再也不像我想象的那样简单！突然变得好复杂好复杂！是我太天真了吗？
成长就是长这个样子的吗？我怎么越来越讨厌这样的自己！ 真的很讨厌！如果可以重来，我只愿能活在自己一个人的世界。。。那么这一切的一切就不会发生了！
我知道威廷，jeff，家祥，小元，irene你们都很努力的想要安慰我。。。真的很感动！很感动！你们让我觉得我不是一个人！但我现在连要以怎样的心态面对你们我都不知道了。。。等我整理好自己再说吧。。。
多希望有个肩膀能让我依靠。。。就算是女生那也很好！^^
怎么总觉得伤心的时候听歌特别有感触呢。。。听《幸福地图》想到vegi，《一个像夏天一个像秋天》想到女生朋友。。。《下一个天亮》《不要而愈》想到梓杭。。。

现在最适合我的心情的歌是“我的天空今天有点灰，我的心是个落叶的季节，我不知道如何度过今夜，所有的灯早已经全都熄灭。。。”

SAD!!!!

the things that most i dun wan 2 happens happened 2day!!!
Jeff cum n tell me gt F5 boy say i'm "hiao"! omg!! can't accept it! u can say me 38 say me ugly say me short say me fat or whatever!but can't say me "hiao"! i really can't accept ppl thought i'm hiao!
Y Y Y? i hav no interact wif F5 boy ok! my pattern is like that since b4 mah...ntg ok! haiz...i really miss my fren! at least no ppl will think me like tat...they all know me! understand me! T_T not like here! small small matter also wan make till so big matter!i really not girls like that! really really really! i dun know which part of me making them hav such this "jiko" thinking! mayb i talk too much wif boys o i always smiling n laughing...what i can say is i really can't believe city's ppl also so "conservatism"but anyway! i won't let this matter continue 2 spread! if not i really dun know wat i will do!
i feel not adapted wif the environment of muar! a big gap compare 2 our previos sch... previously, we all always joking, laughing...all ppl like tat, but here...i dun know y la...mayb they r more high class or watever la!they seems like 开不起玩笑! ok...fine! i 配合u all! but wan me dun joking is something impossible la...i will really try my best not talking too much! anything i wan 2 say i try 2 keep inside my heart! although i hav never put anythings sad or secret in my heart but! ntg is impossible rite! moon also ppl can climb up! how difficult 2 hide my words in my own heart!!! T_T its the time 4 me 2 totally change my characteristic! although it will no longer me! but for the sake of stopping the stupid thinking of others...i hav no choice 2 do that! i will make myself dissapear in the crowd!
i will only show the true of me in front the frens that really know me, really know i'm not such this type of girl!
T_T this matter REALLY broken my heart into pieces n pieces...the wound won't cure!
I'm crying while writing this... so u can know how hurt is it?
can't blame any1...is my fault! jeff i'm not blaming u! i should thanks u for telling this 2 me!
haiz...now listen 2 any lyric song also i feel wan 2 cry!T_T
my mood 2day: DOWN!

long time didn't update my blog liao!

how long i didn't write my blog d? fuyo...is abt 1 month! omg! start study really can make ppl busy till dun know the time pass by so fast! haiz...
how abt the life in f6? 1 word! busy! actually some regret transfer 2 hsm! b4 tat we all thought hsm is a very good sch! but after get in...juz like tat only! the teacher even lousy than ledang! they all really very jiko 1 la! this cannot that cannot! walao! f6 d leh! thought we r kindergarden ar!
i really feel bad! girls in that sch must wear very very properly, tied"ALL" ur hair up! seems like we enter this sch is 2 seduce their high sch boy! sry!no interested ok! qiu...such this small small matter also wan blow up! ceh!
sch really gt many activities leh! very busy! n i feel can't follow the syllubus leh... in pei hwa, all teacher r good n expert! but now! those teacher really useless, i still can't make myself used 2 study by my own! T_T i really very cham de...feel anxious everytime i think abt my study!
last friday i gt badminton competition!abt my double wif irene, we only able 2 beat TLC-(too low class) haha! she is a girl in my class! 100 times terrible than minjie! hobby:showoff n look down ppl! look at her u will feel minjie's act is ntg. haha. we feel glad 2 defeat her! hahaha! n i enter top 4 of my mix double wif eddy...coz he is too pro! actually is his effort la.
hooh...so happy 2 join this competition leh! coz gt many frens join also, so we all gather at 1 place 2 cheer on our fren who is fighting! they all gt many pattern la...funny enough!^^
mr.FY really making me dislike him! haiz...y gt ppl like him! really wish 2 tell him! dun ! nvr ever try 2 tied me up! try 2 limit me! I'm nt ur who! i do anything is ntg related wif u!
n he always suddenly "play autism"...suddenly bcum quiet n be alone...i dun know wat he trying 2 do la...lazy 2 bother him! he always complain his brother all nt treat him as brother n coldshouldered him! tat's y i always say this 2 him " aiyo...dun think too much la..." but then he nt shiok wow...say me helping wt n jeff them la...say i also dun bother him la...he also always sour me say i more close wif wt n jeff them la...haiz...mr.FY! dun make everything complicated la! is nt i dun wan bother u! is i really can't communicate wif u ok! i afraid i will quarrel wif u later leh! dun make me 破戒 hoh! i ady long time no quarrel wif ppl after jiamin! i dun wan quarrel juz bcoz of him! not worth at all!

erm... i feel very 不好意思2 weityng leh...always trouble him 2 fetch me...although he say ntg, but i still feel不好意思lo...haiz...he is so nice ppl! this make me 更不好意思...haha...i think i'm the only fren who bring so many troubles 2 him...haiz...next time gt anythings i can help must tell me, i sure will 义不容辞haha!

2moro is my male sister also my相公's birthday! 2day i go choose 4 present, i stay at the shop 4 abt 1 hour, walk from front 2 back, from back 2 front, from left 2 right, from right 2 left 4 "n" times...haha! boy's present really hard 2 choose leh!i ady drooling when i saw those cute cute things n doll, but eventhough u r sister but still a boy...so can't buy them!haha.i also buy the present 4 little circle also! his birthday is juz the day after zihang's. so coincidence! haha!tat present i think quite siutable 4 him la...haha...
sry ya my dear sister i hav no time. if nt i will DIY something 4 u...next time ba...^^sincere reach enough...haha.
dunno when i will hav new post...haha. must understanding me oo...^^